A sad story. Yesterday in Logan, Utah a transgender woman threw herself into traffic with the intent on killing herself. Unfortunately she was successful, but not without leaving a detailed note about her struggles and reasoning.
I hope her death helps others find better ways to deal with depressionand self-loathing that can come with this life struggle. I also hope, for those that don't understand the pain and anguish connected to this life trial , hearts will be soften to those that are different from us rather than having a un-loving judgement on them.
Do you have problems keeping relationships? Do you sabotage relationships even though they may be going well? Are you skittish about commitment? This article: "How to Let Someone Love You: 10 Key Insights" might be helpful in gaining an understanding of your conflicts and provide good information about what to do about it.
Making the decision begin can be difficult. Several factors need to be considered. What actually is therapy? How can it help? What kind of therapy will best suit you? What should you expect in your first session? How long will it take? How do you find a good therapist?
I could reinvent the wheel and begin to address these concerns, however,
John M. Grohol, Psy. D has written an indepth article addressing these questions and much more.
August 7, 2013
As I am celebrating my wedding anniversary today, I began thinking about marriage. I thought it would be interesting to look at marriage quotes, however, most of what I found was demeaning to both men and woman as husbands and wives. So I looked further to see what has been written about relationships. I came across this article about "Red Flags". For many of you that know me, I often speak of "Red Flags" as serious behaviors to help determine the quality of the person you are dating. In the attached article by Dr. Jennifer Kromberg, she discusses 4 red flags that are often overlooked: 1. Don’t lie to yourself, 2. Trust yourself, 3. Ask about past relationships, 4. Pay attention: how does this person do life?
Although a successful relationship goes beyond the red flags, I often coach my clients to consider the "non negotiable, deal breakers" as a first step to deciding whether or not to take the risk on a relationship. The suggestions in Dr. Kromberg's article is good food for thought!
July 22, 2013
Here is an inspiriting story about "man and "women's" best friend".
Schoep, the arthritic Shepherd mix whose viral photo touched millions last summer, passed away last Wednesday, a month after his 20th birthday. http://www.aplacetolovedogs.com/2012/09/viral-photo-leads-to-new-lease-on-life/1486642815/
July 21, 2013
I have practiced as a psychotherapist in Utah for many years. An often heard complaint I have encountered has been Anxiety. Anxiety, or "worrying", is not an uncommon human experience. Many of us worry about life stresses such as money, relationships, children, health, etc, however, for some, worry can turn into an obsessive loop of anxiety. When one has a more extreme form of anxiety, the thought of anxiety can trigger off more anxiety, often causing a constant loop of stress and worry, which can turn into a panic disorder.
Whether you have normal life anxiety or a more intense form of anxiety, there are things you can do to manage it.
Taking deep breaths, exercising, getting enough sleep, changing your thought patterns, are a few ways to manage anxiety. If the behavioral options aren't effective, seeing a therapist or talking to your doctor about medication is also an option to consider.
I have attached an article describing "15 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Anxiety Symptoms"
By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.
July 18, 2013
Are you thinking about seeing a therapist? Is your life beginning to feel out of control? Do you need help understanding your feelings or your relationships issues? Do you need to learn better communication skills or heal from past trauma? Making the decision to go to therapy is a big decision and quite anxiety provoking. It takes a lot of courage to decide to talk to a stranger about your inner most thoughts and feelings.
I find it interesting that many clients report that since booking their first therapy session, they often feel better and more focused on what the problems and solutions are even before the first session.
I have attached an article by John Grohol, PSY.D on what to expect from your first therapy session.
July 1 2013
I recently spoke with a friend about her status as a single person. She raised her kids alone and is now an “empty nester”. I asked her if she thought about finding a partner now that she is alone. She responded by telling me she would rather be alone than be controlled by another person. She felt that getting married would be giving up her freedom and she wasn’t willing to do that. That got me thinking about how important freedom is to us as human beings.
With Independence Day approaching I reflect upon how our forefathers fought for the right to be free to choose their path in life. Free to choose their religion, freedom to choose their own government, their right to free speech without concern of legal consequences.
A passage from the Declaration of Independence says it all:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men (and women) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”
Wow, how beautiful these words are. Because of the conviction of our forefathers, we all have the right to choose our own path in life. Many times our chosen path is not what other’s want for us; especially if it goes against their own belief systems.
I have often wondered what our world would be like if we would accept each without trying to control one another. I would be out of a job, but I’m ok with that….
On this 4th of July, I encourage you to reflect upon what freedom means to you and how you can be more accepting of the freedoms of others.
June 26, 2013
I am happy to announce that Cecilie Ott, AMFT is joining the practice and has many slots available that may meet your schedule. Be sure to check out her bio on the website to learn more about her areas of interest.
Happy Fathers Day to all dads. In honor of your day I thought I would post some quotes....Hope you Enjoy:
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ THEODORE M. HESBURGH
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”~ WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.- Pope John XXIII
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud
A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be - unknown
Dad - Ask him when Mom says no. - Unknown
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.
- Reed Markham, American Educator
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - unknown
Yes, I said I love you
No, I am not drunk
No one paid me
I'm not lying
Ok then, see you next week son
- My dad on the phone with me
Best advice my Dad ever gave me - "Dont waste time worry about the small things, you will miss out in the best things."
- My Daddy
June 4, 2013
I was going through paperwork recently and ran across this motivational piece that I tried to live by in my younger years. As I read through it 20 years later the words still resonate with me and I find I have incorporated much of the counsel into my life. It's called
￼￼Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
© Max Ehrmann 1927
March 6, 2013
IT'S A DOG'S LIFE....
If a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do...
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!